Now that the World Health Organisation(WHO) have recognised ‘Gaming addiction’ as a mental health disorder, Psychologists and Doctors have been concocting a remedy to alleviate the symptoms.
The popular ‘Mario Kart’ game from Nintendo, has been widely prescribed to sufferers of the condition in an attempt to wean players off their console addiction.
Players of ‘Fortnite’ have been found to be the worst affected, followed closely by ‘Call of duty’ and ‘PUBG’ (Player Unknown Battleground) with players of some of the lesser popular games such as ‘Rayman’ and ‘Abes odyssey’ being the least affected. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: nausea, insomnia, lethargy and an un-healthy thirst for blood.
One gamer, 19-year-old, Kevin Small, known to his gamer friends as “Vampire death monkey”, Has reportedly not been outside for almost 2 years now and has developed an acute sensitivity to sunlight. His parents have now had to install 6 UV lights in their basement to prevent him from contracting Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD).
“Outside is over-rated. I’m safer in here away from all the haters Plus i have over 600 friends online who like me for who I am.
My online life is way better than real life and my mom has a bookers card so I pretty much have a life time supply of red bull and quavers which will keep me going till at least 2023, which is what the doctors have predicted I will live to, given my current health situation”
Kevins parents have cancelled their broadband in an attempt to get their son to adhere to the new gaming prescription of 30 minutes of ‘Mario Kart’ twice a day.
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