Mothers who work full-time taking care of the children they chose to bring into the world, are due to receive all the benefits associated with a zero hours contract.
Robert Goodwill, the Minister of state for children and families, revealed the plans to the cabinet during a fag break outside parliament yesterday afternoon.
The decision however, was met with some resistance from the labour party, who have brandished the term” Full-time Mummy” as a fancy way of saying lazy c**t and also adding that anyone refusing to work because they decided to pop out a few benefit tokens shouldn’t even be allowed basic human rights.
Tanya Poldark, 17, from Brighton, commented:
“I think this zero hours contract thing will work out alright as my ex partner Darren was on something similar when he worked at Wilko and he always had money to go out at the weekend. I’m not too happy about being called a lazy c**t though, as looking after 4 kids is hard work! My daily routine with the kids is wake up early at 11am, pour 4 bowls of Frosties and stick the TV on. While they’re watching cartoons all day I spend my time running my own business selling pick’n’mix in clear plastic cones for £2. It hasn’t taken off yet as I can’t afford the cones or sweets but with the money I get from this new zero hour contract I reckon I’ll be sound”.
Other self-proclaimed Facebook job titles such as “boss of me” are also being considered for the zero hours contract to assist budding entrepreneurs who sell baccy from Majorca, to become more stable and profitable.
link to image used: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107658/Mother-pregnant-TENTH-child-demands-bigger-council-house-30-000-year-benefits.html