Withams conservative MP, Priti Patel, has been found to have had at least 3 secret meetings with the leader of the dark side over the course of 6 months, without informing Parliament or any of her fellow MPs, a source has heard.
Patel, who served as Secretary of State for international development, has also had a number of meetings with other leaders and heads of state and it is believed that Downing Street knew about them but advised Patel to keep them quiet.
Our political correspondent caught up with Darth Vader and got the following statement:
“Ive known Ms. Patel for a few years now and have always enjoyed bouncing ideas off her whenever i have any diabolical schemes in the pipeline. We also discussed in detail, a very comprehensive exit strategy for Brexit, which i think she has executed perfectly. i think it’s a great shame that she is being forced to resign but i do hope we keep in touch.”
Patels replacement, Penny Mordaunt, added:
“I have no idea who Darth Vadar is as i don’t really watch Star Trek but I’m looking forward to working with the team here to continue building a safer, more secure, more prosperous world for us all and really giving the British public pride in what we do.”
Reports yesterday said she was livid about her sacking and was set to ‘go off like a double-barrelled shotgun’ after being forced to resign.