The NHS and all of its assets, including land and staff pension fund, are due to be sold to the highest bidder on the popular auction site eBay, a source has heard.
Due to a loophole in the statute which governs the NHS, all assets, if ever sold off, need to be made available to the general public as well as large corporations who would normally be the ones in a position to make such a purchase.
One particular eBay user, David Cracker quoted;
“Ive spoke with the wife and we’ve agreed that the most we would be prepared to bid is £1.2million, which is roughly what we would have spent on private health care if the Tories get their own way.”
A member of staff at the Birmingham Queen Elizabeth added;
“Me and all the staff nurses have been working over over over time for the last 3 months and have managed to scrape together £380 so that will be our max bid. We could have had £450 but some of the girls involved have decided that eating and paying bills are more important”
The auction will start at 9 am BST on Monday 28th August and will run over the course of 7 days.