Prosecco found to contain additive which turns middle aged women into annoying twats

prosecco turning middle aged women into annoying twats


Since the increase in popularity of the champagne alternative, there has also been an increase in quality control.

The results of a recent test have concluded that supermarket branded bottles of Prosecco, contain at least 3 additives, which when combined, result in the end user becoming an insufferable twat.


Suzie Kline, 45, from Cheltenham commented:


“8 of my friends have recently been divorced by their partners so i decided to throw a spontaneous ‘Prosecco Party’ to cheer them up.

I wasn’t drinking as i was pregnant with my 4th at the time but my husband was away on business, again! So i shipped the kids off to my Moms and got the girlies round.

Six bottles in it became quite apparent that all of my friends were boring nauses despite them all doing about 4 fun runs a year.”

Sharon wouldn’t stop blubbering about her 3rd failed marriage, Janice kept moaning about her kids and Kirsty was pissing everyone off with her holiday snaps from Turkey!”


Suzies local has now stopped selling Prosecco but the girls are not phased as it will soon be “Pimms o Clock”.


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