Red sun causes mass hysteria among the uneducated




Mcdonald’s staff and mobile hairdressers nationwide, have been more confused than normal today,with the arrival of a strange, red sun, perched ominously in the sky.

Religious groups are claiming it’s the end of the world as we know it, whilst ISIS are claiming responsibility for the phenomonon, stating that its the first step in their plan for world domination.

For those of us who paid attention at school instead of sneaking off to crack open a pack of L&B, you will know that the cause of the colour change is due to strong winds from hurricane Ophelia, pulling up dust from the Sahara desert.


A team leader from Mcdonald’s in Bradford commented:

“I’ve had to send all my staff home as the kitchen was chaos! We had 2 members of staff hiding under the counter and refusing to come out. Another staff member stuck his head in the fryer and the more religious members of the team were in the back praying to a statue of Ronald Mcdonald asking him to save them from the impending doom!”


As the dust settles, so do tensions across the country however Britains brightest are still stocking up on supplies in preparation for the ‘coldest winter on record’.




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