Subaru Impreza now available to people who aren’t middle-aged, overweight men



In a bold new marketing strategy, Subaru have claimed that their STi version of the popular Impreza model will now be available to everyone and not just middle-aged, overweight men who hate their wives.

The Impreza has been a long standing favourite among the working class lager lout, Mainly due to the fact it’s the cheapest family saloon on the market with enough horse power to carry the larger than average driver.


One Impreza owner commented:

“I love my Impreza! Its the perfect combination of power and practicality. I can get 15 crates of Stella in the boot and still fit all 3 kids in the back with no problem.

The wife hates it though as she says its too loud but i hate her anyway so she can fuck off”


Subaru have said that they will be adding an extra 56BHP to the 2018 version to account for the populations ever growing obesity problem.


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