Theresa May to privatise air


Theresa May has upset quite a few people lately after stating that she intends to privatise the air we breathe. A change which is due to affect almost 99% of the population.


The Prime Minster said:


“Far too many people are taking advantage of the free air available in this country.

With the rising pollution levels there is less and less clean air available and the only way to regulate it properly is by privatisation.

For those on benefits or unable to pay for the ‘private air service’, we will be distributing oxygen tanks at local food banks.

This service will be partly funded by cuts made to the public health sector, namely the NHS.”


A women stood behind a bus stop added:


“Ive been breathing for almost 76 years now and have never paid a penny for it.

I pay my taxes so i should be entitled to breath in as much air as i bloody well like!

My late husband fought bravely in the war and he would be mortified if he was here today and only able to afford to breath 3 times a week!”



It is rumoured that a referendum will be held in 2018 to ascertain how the UK public feel about the situation.





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