Vinyl DJ Has breakdown minutes before gig


Local vinyl enthusiast, 47 year old, DJ Timmy Turntable, from Digbeth, Birmingham, was eventually taken to hospital after collapsing at a popular dance music venue in his hometown.



Timmy was unable to speak to our field reporter so we caught up with one of the events promoters, Danny Steele, 22, also from Digbeth, who gave the following statement:


    “We were reluctant to book Timmy but due to a last minute drop out we had no choice. We’ve had problems with Timmy in the past because of his arrogant and argumentative nature towards the other DJs.


    Timmy had a problem with any DJ who played their sets using CD decks instead of vinyl. He’s always harping on about how vinyl sounds better and that playing on any other format means you’re not a real DJ.”


Danny also added:


            “He was always late to gigs as he had trouble transporting his huge vinyl collection on the bus and he didn’t drive because he spent all his savings on records.

       Unfortunately for us our manager is a massive vinyl fan and met Timmy at his 60th birthday party where the managers wife had booked him to play.


       “He cant even beat-match that well and his tunes are as in sync as North and South Korea!”


     “On the night of the incident he strolled up to the decks wearing his usual attire, a ‘naff naff’ beanie and ‘Fila’ shell-suit with his box of records in one hand and his Vape pen in the other.

Once he had put his records down and looked at the non vinyl setup, he immediately fell to the floor. 4 hours later an ambulance was called and Timmy was rushed to A&E. “



Staff at the venue haven’t heard anything from Timmy since the incident but they have heard rumours that he now works at his local British Legion providing music for the after bingo knees up.





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